I have been doing another Beth Moore study with a dear friend. I know I shouldn't be amazed, but somehow I still am. Amazed how regardless of what we choose to study, how God speaks to us through it. How on some weeks I have been behind and when I finally sit down to do the study I should have done days ago, it is applicable for just that day. Had I done that day's lesson when I was suppose to, how it wouldn't have hit me so hard, or meant so much. For me that is a sure sign that the word of God is ACTIVE and LIVING.
Living in Uganda has it's share of blessings and battles. Challenges/battles of cultural differences, driving on the left side, not having thirty different kinds of cereal, and a butcher who hacks your meat with a machete. Trusting in people is probably the biggest challenge I have been faced with. I am or was a fairly trusting person. My first instinct is to be trusting. Trust until there is a reason not to.
I find that here I am changing. I am a lot more leery of trusting. The past two years here I have been "burned" too many times from trusting someone outright. Some of them small, like just lying to my face. Some larger, like going to a witch doctor to place a curse and denying it. Some too large to mention. Betrayal. Lying. Stealing.
So what's my point? Through studying David I realized that from the time he was first anointed by Samuel to be the next king of Israel that he was pursued by Saul for fifteen years. FIFTEEN years. David had chances to kill Saul, but instead he cut a corner of Saul's robe or took his spear and water jug. When David confronted Saul about the chance he had and Saul was sorry for pursuing David, David did not go back with Saul. Why? David didn't trust him. " Saul went home, but David and his men went up to the stronghold". 1 Samuel 24:22
For fifteen years David waited. FIFTEEN YEARS. Can I wait for fifteen years? When I am in a battle, whether it is trusting someone or battling something within myself.... can I wait for an answer from God for fifteen years? I don't know how David did it. I lose focus too easily. My battle seems to be all consuming. Permeating everything in my life. Strangling me until I can't see straight, until I can't breathe.
And then, I get to this part of the study:
"Do you see what happens when we focus more on our battles than on God? Our enemy appears bigger, we appear weaker, and our God appears smaller. BEWARE! Long term battle can cause vision impairment if our eyes focus anywhere but up!"
"God has not forgotten. He has seen your battles. He has gathered your tears and blotted your brow. He knows those who have treated you unfairly. He knows when you're almost ready to give up or give in. Keep telling Him. Stay in His word. Keep claiming His promises. We need not despair . We must stand in God's word when the battles get tough and resist the temptation to panic."
When I read the above... I almost started crying. More tears for Him to gather. :-) God knows. I don't have to worry, because God is right there with me. What do I need to do? Keep in His word. Claim His promises. Galatians 6: 9-10 "Do not grow weary from doing good, for at the proper time we will reap the benefits if we don't give up to do good to all people."
Do not grow weary. Do not give up. Thank you Lord for the reminder, for the promises.